Parenting Time Around the Holidays. by Dennis H. Babiniec

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     Arranging parenting time with your children around the holidays after or during a divorce or legal separation can sometimes be difficult, expecially with an uncooperative spouse or ex-spouse.  Even with this busy and exhausting and even emotional time of the year, it is important that you take the time and think out the process that you will use in communicating with your spouse or ex-spouse.  
     If there are court orders, make sure you review them first in order to know what the orders say.  That way you know what you are entitled to and what you may need to ask for additional accomodation.  Second, you need to think through your style of communication with the other person.  If you start out threatening or demanding, it may cause an adverse reaction by the other party because they feel defensive, even if your request is reasonable.  If you start out with a negative proposition i.e. "I know that you do not want to share Christmas...", it may be more likely that you have preordained a negative outcome.  
    After 30 years of experience in divorce and family law cases in the Denver area, I find that an effective communication style is to make your request known referring to the orders, but not threatening, and empasizing the benefit to the children of the proposed parenting time.  That way you are speaking to the other party as a parent and not as a combatant.  It can make a huge difference in how the message is received.
     If you do not have existing orders or they are vague and therefore ineffective or if things have changed so that a different schedule is in the child(ren) best interest, you may consider a modification of the parenting time orders.  In Colorado, if the proposed change is a major change (especially if it changes where the children will be living most of the time), you would have a higher burden of proof if the other party does not agree.  But if it is a change to make the parenting time schedule more compatible with the age and schedule of the children or because of changes in a work schedule, the legal standard in Colorado is the best interest of the children.

I would like to help you with effective representation in your divorce or legal separation case.  Over 30 years experience.  BBB accredited, A+ rated.  Your first step to getting help is to call.  Call Today at 303-451-9110.

Dennis H. Babiniec
Attorney at law- Divorce and Family Law
10701 Melody Dr., Ste. 350
Northglenn, CO 80234 posted: December 18, 2012 - Dennis Babiniec - Divorce Lawyer - Blog

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